Four places where churches often fail families in Sunday hospitality: signage, nursery, worship, fellowship/coffee hour.
What about the signs in your church? Is it easy for first-time visitors to find a place to park? the nursery? the sanctuary? Sunday school rooms? the church office? the bathrooms?
The nursery is where effective children’s ministry can begin and also where visitors can get turned off a church. When parents return to pick-up their child, an upset baby with a dirty diaper will trump a great sermon.
Creating effective worship for all ages is a daunting task. Liturgy, music, sermon, prayers, creeds, the sacraments of baptism and communion all present unique opportunities for churches to include people of all ages, especially children. Today’s family wants family/intergenerational worship. Churches that continue to divide people by age, that continue to send children out of worship are missing the chance to nurture the family as a whole and to support those parents who wish to worship together.
The fellowship time that often occurs right after worship, but is a term that can also include any informal time where refreshments are served and people are invited to mingle, is usually planned with adults in mind. When children are left to their own devices, they will fill up the time and space with their own games. They may run around, grab food at will, and be disruptive. A progressive congregation understands this dynamic and plans this gathering time to include all ages—with appropriate guidelines and activities for all. Chaotic fellowship times can turn-off members as well as visitors.
There may be an unspoken attitude among adults in churches that relegates children “to be seen but not heard”…to be separate, not included. How can you change the attitude from “adults only” to “everyone is included, everyone matters!”? Approach your leadership now and start some discussions:
• Do the signs inside and outside of your church help visitors know where to go to find what they need? Can the signs be read or understood by children, too?
• Is your nursery staffed with two adults at all times? Does it address the needs of infants, toddlers and preschoolers? Does your nursery staff understand that they are in ministry to these little ones?
• Does your church send the children out of worship causing them to miss singing and praying with adults, witnessing baptisms, partaking in communion? Does your worship include opportunities for people of all ages to participate both as leaders and as worshippers?
• Are your planned congregational events always inclusive of children? Does your church welcome children at fellowship times or do the adults grumble about the children eating all the cookies?
• Is your congregation intentional about children’s ministry and about why it is vital for the church?
• Does your children’s ministry enjoy an equal priority with other ministries of your church?
• If you polled the children in your congregation, would they say they were valued and important to the church?
Raise the hospitality quotient of your church by making it a place where families feel welcome to gather together for mutual, life-giving activities and worship…welcome the children in the name of Jesus Christ!
Read the October issue of Heartfelt for more about helping your child prepare and participate in worship. Click here.
[...] Is Your Church Hospitable to Families with Children? [...]
I remember a conversation I had with our children’s pastor. My wife and I had adopted a little boy and after a few months decided to put him in the nursery. We came back the next three weeks and had a child with a very wet diaper each time. I gently reminded the people that they are in essence the first impression made on a family. A simple idea, yet profound implications.