Connections Really Matter to Children

The happiness of children is strongly affected by the quality and quantity of the human connections that they have in their young lives

A recent article in the May 2008 addition of American Baby magazine (7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child) reminds us yet again of the importance of human connectedness to the welfare of young children. Among seven factors affecting the sense of well-being and happiness in our youngest, author Marguerite Lamb identifies “fostering connections” as the “…surest way to promote your child’s emotional well-being…” She supports her assertion with some compelling comments by various authorities.

One of the most interesting statements comes from Christine Carter, PhD, Executive Director of the University of California at Berkley’s Greater Good Science Center. In the article, Dr. Carter points out that, “We know from 50 years of research that social connections are an incredibly important, if not the most important, contributor to happiness…and it’s not just the quality, but also the quantity of the bonds.” Her observations are strongly supported by Edward Hallowell, MD, a child psychiatrist and author of The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, who says that, “A connected childhood is the key to happiness.” These comments clearly echo the very powerful messages that we hear in Hardwired to Connect, the remarkable report and video of the same name produced in 2003 by the Commission on Children at Risk as a result of a major study of American youth.

At LOGOS, we have always said that relationships are central to effective ministry…especially inter-generational connections between kids and adults of all ages. Today you really can’t pick up an article on ministry with children or youth and not see a clear reference to the power of relationships. In fact, they have replaced programs and activities as the cornerstones of effective ministry with kids.

Check out our Children’s Ministry Effectiveness Model to see all of the factors that we have discovered have an impact on ministry effectiveness. How does your ministry stack up?

Teen girls made pact to get pregnant.

As many as 17 girls made a pact at Gloucester High School in Massachusetts to become pregnant.  Most of the girls, all under 16 years old, did so with men in their 20s.  Superintendent Christopher Farmer said the girls are generally “girls who lack self-esteem and have a lack of love in their life.”

We currently distribute a video by The Institute of American Values entitled, Hardwired to Connect.  This video talks about the general sense of disconnectedness among young people today.  This story of these girls is one more example of that disconnectedness and a desire to be connected.  The video sets a premise that we are, at least partially, to blame for this.  We are not providing enough opportunities for connectedness. In addition, we adults are not intentionally building relationships with enough young people which leaves them wanting emotional connection one way or another.  In other words, they are looking for love and often times in all the wrong places.

We encourage you to look for ways to reach out and connect with young people in your community.  What can your church do to provide for connectedness?  How can your church build healthy relationships with young people beyond its walls ?  What is your church doing to provide young people with a safe place that incorporates healthy Christian relationships where they know they belong?

Take steps today to connect young people to each other, to caring adults who act as role models, and to Jesus Christ.

Faith and Fatherhood- The importance of men in children’s ministry.

We have just celebrated Father’s day and articles abound on fatherhood today.  Many of these articles are negative but one that caught my attention talked about the positive influence of faith on fatherhood and the importance that it plays in the church and home environment.  The article appeared in the Wall Street Journal on Friday, June 13, 2008.  It was written by a professor from the University of Virginia.  One part of the article points to the overall benefits to the home, children and church of father’s who are deeply involved in their faith.

It says, “that religious fathers are more likely to devote time, attention and affection to their children than their secular peers. For example, compared with dads who indicate no religious affiliation, fathers who attend religious services regularly devote at least two more hours per week to youth-related activities, such as coaching soccer or leading a Boy Scout troop. Churchgoing fathers are also significantly more likely to keep tabs on their children, monitoring their activities and friends. Finally, religious fathers are about 65% more likely than unaffiliated fathers to report praising and hugging their school-age children ‘very often.’”

For all of you involved in ministry to young people, we know it can be hard to get men involved because of their schedules, routines, and activities.  However, this article is a great way to help them understand how valuable their participation is to the children in their lives and at church.  Not only does their involvement help kids but the article goes on to demonstrate the tremendous wholeness it brings to the lives of the men as well. In summary, when men are involved in ministry everyone benefits. That is a win, win, win scenario.

You can read the whole article here, http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121331741679270239.html?mod=taste_primary_hs , which is based on a report from one of our partners, The Institute for American Values.

Getting involved with the kids in my church … our future.

We received this letter from a LOGOS volunteer who works with middle schoolers and it says all there is to say about working with kids. She works full-time, but makes room for working with young people. Thanks Leslie.

I have a list of 15 fairly major projects I’ve worked on at my church this year, including stuff like chairing the fall Every Member Commitment (EMC) Campaign to help raise our $1.3 million budget, singing in a choir and being an active part of United Methodist Women.

So why did I choose to teach 6th grade Bible study this year at LOGOS?

Simple. The Return On Investment (or ROI) is HUGE.

1. Since LOGOS is well-organized and well-run, my entire involvement takes only a couple of hours each week during the school year. I plan the lesson in 30 minutes or so each week, then show up for a dinner someone else has slaved over, sit with “my” 6th graders, and then head downstairs for our 45-minute Bible discussion.

2. While kids these days are probably a lot like kids were 20 years ago, I’ve noticed something that seems to be on the rise since I first began working with Middle Schoolers in 1990. Now, more than ever, kids are desperately seeking adults (other than parents and teachers) who:

· Know who they are

· Call them by name

· Can talk with them one-on-one

· Will set boundaries and hold them accountable

· And are available to teach them, learn from them and be together in a safe, Christian relationship

· Simply put, kids are hungering and thirsting for mentors! And they simply do not have enough. I saw that in the eyes of my 6th graders this year.

Kids today need Christian role models. They need me, and they need you. In return, they are willing to provide all the love your heart can possibly hold.

To get hand-made necklaces, prayer jars, goodies and Christmas cards, to have kids run up to me on Sunday morning to share a personal story, E-mail me for advice, to have a problem child tell me they love me, is a huge payback, a great blessing. And it is a prime opportunity where you get the reward right here and now –for making a difference in a child’s life. Small investment. HUGE payoff. Quickly.

My only question is, why WOULDN’T you choose to help at LOGOS?

~Leslie 5.2.08

Connecting Young People and Adults in Our Churches

Kids need to be integrated into the whole life of the church

This morning’s paper reports that churchgoers in a Cape Cod town tackled a would-be robber who tried to steal a collection box during a worship service. Officers arrived to find the 45-year-old being held on the ground by parishioners who had tackled him and ripped off his mask. Wouldn’t it be great if all churchgoers were that enthusiastic about running after and tackling those things that threaten to steal our young people away from the church? Research shows that 7 out of 8 young people leave the church by the time they are 22 years old. Chances are we don’t even really notice it until long after it happens. Huh? Where did all the kids go?

What if we, as the church, were as intentional about guarding our precious youth (and building them into disciples of Christ) as we are about guarding our money? Certainly we don’t want to lock the children away in a vault…or carry them out of the sanctuary at a certain moment in the service to go sit in another room (oops! I guess we do that sometimes, don’t we?). But what if we found ways to connect our young people to lots of mature, Christian adults in the church who would serve as an extended youth pastor? What if we involved them in worship rather than plunked them down in the pews and then told them to “hush up” and “be still”? In his book, “Family-Based Youth Ministry”, youth pastor and ministry consultant Mark DeVries observes that, “Over the last century, churches and parachurch youth ministries alike have increasingly (and often unwittingly) held to a single strategy that has become the most common characteristic of this model: the isolation of teenagers from the adult world and particularly from their own parents.” No wonder so many kids “grow out of” church when they “grow out of” the youth group!

At The LOGOS Ministry, we hold to a model that seeks to deepen relationships between young people and lots of adults in the church that bridge over to corporate worship where children and youth participate and lead, not just observe. It’s not the only way to hold onto our kids…but it’s certainly one way. What approach have you been using?

Let Youth Dream God Sized Dreams!

I have just returned from the Prelude Gathering of Youth Pastors hosted by Mike King and Chris Folmsbee.

One of the powerful times was when a young woman, age 15, talked about the organization that she founded after viewing the movie Amazing Grace and praying for God’s guidance. She is an amazing young woman. So here is a summary of the lessons from Sally Rymer organizer of Clapham Sect Phase 2 http://www.csp2justiceseekers.com/

CSP2 aims to equip young people and those who work with them with the tools necessary to fight modern day slavery in their own communities and around the world.

1. Start with spiritual transformation. Teaching young people to get close to God is critical.

2. Discipleship is believing and doing.

3. Make ministry a safe place for dreams and ideas

4. Personal relationships are the key. Please don’t segregate us from adults of all ages. We learn discipleship through relationships.

5. Be an encouraging voice to youth and their dreams.

6. Pray with them, side by side, not just over them or for them.

7. Don’t be afraid to enter troubles, side by side, with the youth.

8. Celebrate with them what God is doing in their lives.

9. Don’t let youth passion and ideas dry up. Keep them accountable. Youth have short term vision. Help them live through their dreams long term.
Ways to support students with dreams-

1. Keep them connected and involved in spiritual disciplines. God pours into me so I can pour into the world.

2. Help them find the resources and connections they need to live it out.

3. Talk it through with them step by step. Help them see the practical application of the dream.

4. Help them set short and long term goals.

5. Keep them dreaming.

WOW the dreams of a young person. I hope you are helping your young people dream dreams and live out God’s call.

LOGOS Explores New Children’s Ministry Solutions

Today’s world demands new approaches to children’s ministry

The notion that children need love, support, and guidance in order to grow into productive adults and disciples of Jesus Christ is not a new concept. What is new, however, is the degree to which today’s society and culture are all affecting this natural growth process…even threatening it. Factors and conditions such as…

- increasing insensitivity to violence and crude behavior in the culture,

- sexualization of the young in the media and consumer products,

- direct marketing to children,

- changing family structures and life styles, and the barrage of messages and information that besiege
kids - constantly in their connected lives (e.g., cell phones, computers and televisions)

…all seem to make it more difficult for children to grow-up healthy today and in a meaningful relationship with their God.

While conditions may be changing, the fundamental need that children have for connectedness and to be in relationship with supporting adults has not changed. In fact, recent studies have verified that this need is still a critical element in the developmental process. Many churches are discovering that fulfilling this requirement in today’s culture is not such an easy matter. Postmodernism, with its emphasis on relative truth rather than doctrine and personal experience as opposed to established tradition, has rendered many previously successful disciple-making approaches inadequate and not-at-all-compelling to either kids or their parents. New solutions in children’s ministry are needed now if we are to provide the support and guidance that kids really need.

At The LOGOS Ministry, this sense of urgency is leading to action. LOGOS is currently in the midst of a campaign to bring regional leaders in many of the major denominations together to discuss the need for effective children’s ministry and a course of action for solution-making. We have introduced a series of free denominational events, called From Urgency to Action, to highlight the critical needs of children today, to introduce a model for enhancing children’s ministries, and to invite partnership with ministry leaders.

LOGOS is committed to working with churches to develop new ministry methods, techniques, and tools that will work in today’s environment. In fact, our new LOGOS@Home resource provides a flexible framework and set of tools for parents to take an active, even primary, role in supporting the spiritual growth of their children. Already, we are seeing that various church groups, individual ministry leaders, and families are discovering new ways of using LOGOS@Home to meet their unique needs.

We may be living in a new world that challenges us in new ways, but we must never lose sight of a timeless commitment – to raise our children as Christ’s own.

We Remember Virginia Tech

This day, at the one year anniversary, we remember the 32 who lost their lives at Virginia Tech University. Please take a moment to spend some time today in silent remembrance as well as prayer for the families, students and staff of VTU.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

WE REMEMBER

Spiritual Wholeness Helps Happiness and Healthiness

Did you know that your work with children is a major contributor to a child’s overall health and happiness? A recent article in USA Today (read it here, “Spirituality a big part of kid’s happiness”) indicated that a study completed by the University of British Columbia shows a direct connection between spiritual formation and overall happiness in the life of children. While this is great news, it certainly isn’t a surprise to us at The LOGOS Ministry. It is why we believe that a balanced ministry that ministers to the whole child is critical for the church today. Over and over again, we can see the immediate benefits of balanced ministry. Search Institute research tells us that spiritual formation is critical to lowering at risk behaviors. The Hardwired to Connect Study tells us that we are hardwired for relationships that are both personal and spiritual and these relationships have a definite positive influence on the children.

From all of this, we discover how important spiritual formation is for our children. Not only does it make an eternal difference but it makes a definite difference in their lives today, So why wouldn’t we want to make sure that we do all we can to offer our children and youth a life that is happier, safer, more connected, and healthier as well as eternally focused?

Why Children Go to Church?

Last week, I offered a podcast from the perspective of teenagers on why they committed to going to church each week in the midst of the busyness of their lives. This week, I offer the written words of a 1st grader given to me on a recent trip. This young boy, who is gifted with words for his age, expresses the feelings of many. He expresses what means the most to him about his midweek LOGOS ministry which he attends faithfully.

“My Life in LOGOS

I love LOGOS! I like table time. I sit with my friends and we eat good food. In rec, we learn new games. I learn to be a good sport. I like Bible time. We study about Jesus and how he loves us. He did many wonderful things called miracles. My favorite part of LOGOS is choir. I love to sing praises to God. It is a small gift I can give to Him. LOGOS helps me to grow up in a good way. That is why I love LOGOS.” by Daniel

What a blessing that even in first grade, a child has a great desire to praise God, be in relationship, learn and become a disciple. The messages over these two weeks have pointed out that young people from 1st to 12th grade are not looking for pure fun and play but truly get engaged when meaning , purpose and discipleship are a part of their church experience. I was given a framed copy of this which now hangs on my wall as a constant reminder of welcoming the children. Thank you Daniel!

May God continue to bless your practical, purposeful and impactful ministry with young people.